


My Love is Here and Here to Stay (So Lay Your Head on Me)

by Huntress8611



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Steve Rogers, M/M, Men Crying, Misunderstandings, Protective Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Gets a Hug, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Suicidal Thoughts, endgame can suck my dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 22:22:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19094257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress8611/pseuds/Huntress8611
Summary: “You absolute dumbass, Steve! Thought you said I took all of the stupid with me,” Bucky said angrily, getting up off of Steve.“Bucky?” Steve said, looking at him like he wasn’t sure if this was real or not.Bucky didn’t respond, opting to silently drag Steve back to his hotel room. He shut the door behind him and crossed his arms, glaring at Steve.“You- you’re real?” Steve asked shakily.Bucky’s face softened minusculely. “Yeah, punk. I’m real, and I want to know what the fuck you were thinking.”





	My Love is Here and Here to Stay (So Lay Your Head on Me)

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this work is from the song Little Do You Know by Alex & Sierra.
> 
> (see end notes for a more comprehensive trigger warning)

Steve looked over the edge of the wall, watching the sunset. It was beautiful. There were people walking around, happy. Carefree. He had never thought he’d be able to see France like this. It was so different, so amazing. He sat down on the edge, letting his feet dangle over the water.

“You’d’ve loved it here, Buck,” he said to himself, staring sadly at the water below. “I don’t know if you’re even alive anymore, but I really hope you are.It’s been over a year.” He was starting to lose hope about finding his friend. He knew that if Bucky didn’t want him to find him, he never would. “Maybe you just don’t want me to find you, but either way, I don’t think I can live without you. I miss you, Bucky.”

He shifted slightly on the railing, trying to get comfortable, moving a bit closer to the edge, and all of a sudden he was on the ground on the correct side of the railing, groaning.

“The fuck?” he said, opening his eyes to see who had tackled him.

“You absolute dumbass, Steve! Thought you said I took all of the stupid with me,” Bucky said angrily, getting up off of Steve.

“Bucky?” Steve said, looking at him like he wasn’t sure if this was real or not.

Bucky didn’t respond, opting to silently drag Steve back to his hotel room. He shut the door behind him and crossed his arms, glaring at Steve.

“You- you’re real?” Steve asked shakily.

Bucky’s face softened minusculely. “Yeah, punk. I’m real, and I want to know what the  _ fuck _ you were thinking.”

“I- I just-” Steve cut himself off with a sob, his knees buckling.

Bucky caught him, lowering him to the ground. “Hey, Stevie, c’mon. What’s wrong, doll?”

“You- you were dead. You were dead and then you were alive and then you were  _ gone. _ You were gone, Buck, I couldn’t find you. Don’t think I could survive mourning you again,” he mumbled, burying his face in Bucky’s shoulder.

“Stevie…” Bucky pulled him against his chest, tucking his head under his chin the way he’d done so many times when Steve was still small. “Stevie, you can’t do that.”

“It’s been a year. I thought you were dead or you were avoiding me. Thought you didn’t want me anymore,” he said, mumbling the last part.

“God no, doll. I’ll always want you,” he said firmly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “I love you, Stevie. I love you so much.”

“You- you didn’t let me find you,” Steve said.

“I wasn’t ready, doll. I couldn’t remember everything,” Bucky explained softly. “I didn’t want you to see me until I could remember. You did good, Stevie. You did find me, that first month in France. I just managed to dodge you. I’ve been following you ever since.”

“You still- you want me?” he said hopefully, and Bucky felt his heart break a little.

“I’ll always want you, babydoll. Always.”

Steve burst into tears, clutching onto Bucky’s shirt.

_ God, I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. Shit, _ Bucky thought. “I’m so sorry, Stevie. I’m so sorry. I should have at least left you notes or something, made sure you knew I was still alive, still wanted you.”

Bucky stood up, Steve cradled in his arms. He walked to the bedroom and sat down on the bed, setting Steve down momentarily to pull back the covers. He gently made Steve lay down before taking his boots off and crawling in next to him, sitting against the headboard and pulling the covers over him. Steve shuffled over towards him, curling up with his head in Bucky’s lap.

“Buck?” Steve mumbled.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t leave? Please. Just stay, at least tonight,” he pleaded.

“Not goin’ anywhere, babydoll,” Bucky said, gently resting his hand on Steve’s head, running his fingers through the soft hair. “Go to sleep, Stevie. I’ll be here when you wake up. Promise.”

**Author's Note:**

>  **Trigger Warning:** Steve's sitting on the edge of a bridge talking out loud to himself, and says he doesn't think he can live without Bucky. He isn't planning on jumping right then, but Bucky thinks he is and tackles him away from the edge.


End file.
